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  • Title:Offended
  • Artist:Eminem
  • Album:Revival
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    作词 作曲 : Marshall Mathers
    You claim if you get knocked by the cops
    You'll give 'em not even a statement
    Walk in the arraignment, shoot the bailiff
    Karate kick the plaintiff
    Gotti with the stainless
    I'll just call it shoddy entertainment
    If y'all was in the party gettin' faded
    On molly, had the audience sedated
    You wouldn't catch a body if it fainted
    Probably let it fall and hit the pavement
    But you'd be the first lobbyin' to claim it
    Bitch, stop bein' a lame
    Your hobby isn’t robbery and dismemberin' body limbs
    Like you was Tommy Lynn Sells
    And chainsawing them in the basement
    Hardly fits your job description
    Ain't nobody dippin' out the back of the club like,
    "Oh my God, he's trippin'"
    Only time you get the blade is probably
    With the dang lawn equipment, ain't it?
    Wouldn't take a bobby pin and wave it
    I need to stop bein' debated
    You're still copyin', Xeroxing,
    I'm still coppin' a feel
    Like Bill Cosby at will,
    Popping a pill then spill Oxys in Jill's coffee
    Then send her out to the hotel lobby a lil' wobbly
    And still groggy
    This blonde fucks reprehensible misconducts,
    Never sensible
    Kiss my butt, my set of principles is gone
    But 'til I get the President to respond
    My pen and pencil is a missile launcher
    And send it to Mitch McConnell
    Just as big of a bitch as Donald
    Shit's on, bruh
    Let me sing this shit soprano
    While I do it pizzicato
    Ivanka, stiff arm her
    While I'm hittin' on Melania
    And this song's for all ya
    'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
    They want me to go eat some worms
    I hope you offended
    And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt
    But I'ma make you eat your words
    You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
    'Cause you're only gonna make things worse
    'Cause I swear when I get up I'm never gonna let up
    'Til everybody eats my turds
    These drums and hard snares bring out the worst in me
    Like Justin Ross Harris at a nursery
    Goin' ham at candy yam on nanny cam
    I'm gettin' handys with the zanny Xannys in the Caddy armrest
    I'm imagining objects, so I'm batting cobwebs
    From a daddy longleg
    And Hamtramck, got the panoramic camera
    Xanax, a banana hammock and a Santa hat
    I'm smellin' like a damn mechanic
    With a chick that looks like Janet Jackson with a Spanish accent
    Twice your age and I'm actin' half it
    Grow up? Nah
    Not that I know of, y'all
    Basement just got a frickin' overhaul,
    Got a stripper pole installed
    Started rollin' all through those Kolonopins like a bowlin' ball
    Like an overdose on twice the ratio of Propofol
    And go through no withdrawal
    While I get fellatio and give a facial
    To an interracial blow-up doll of Rachel Dolezal
    You're so appalled, so's my manager (Em)
    Bitch I'm amateur, fuck a pro career
    Coast is clear, but nowhere to go from here
    And nobody's close, so don't compare
    They ain't nowhere near, I'm way over here
    My competition can't see me
    'Cause I don't own a mirror
    But Marshall, you are terrific, so smart and gifted
    I'm so narcissistic, when I fart, I sniff it
    Do a fake dab to smell my armpits with it
    Your anxiety's throwin' gang signs
    But I made strides with these rape lines
    I'm cuttin' back on women hate crimes
    Like Ray Rice when he FaceTimes
    Bang, bang, bang, bang time
    Dang knives to butcher them gay wives
    You're gonna need sutures the same size
    As the blade I push into captcha
    Pull 'em like sleigh rides
    Gotta stab a bitch at least eight times
    To make it on Dateline
    I came to stake my claim like a canine
    Waitin' in a buffet line
    So Kellyanne Conway, I'm a really bad hombre
    Come play, belly dance on me
    I've been making wedding plans all day
    Eight year old with the wordplay
    Girl, take this pole like a survey
    Today wasn't my birthday
    But I'm caked up like a dessert tray
    So we're in shape
    'Cause you're in a slurrin' state
    I’m a ten, you’re an eight, like what I do before
    After, and during rape
    You wanna get into a pissin' contest and find out who's better?
    And they made a fool out of what I pulled out him
    R. Kelly with a full bladder
    Not in high school, grad, I'm not a scholar
    But I'm so cold that I'm droppin' out with my degrees
    It's the same as I got in college (zero)
    But nobody's hotter, you owe me my respect
    I owe you nada like lodi partner that blow me
    Told you I'm so dirty,
    Homie you can throw me in some holy water
    With some floaties on
    And get the soap, and try to get the Pope to hold me
    While you hose me off And nope I won't be washed
    You hope to God I don't explode,
    I gotta blow this spot up, though
    I got a lotta more
    I won't put the sugar coating on it though
    'Cause sometimes you can feel like your energy's expired
    Rap's got you drained, dead tired, zapped
    You feel like a wet pile of crap
    But look, man, like the feds buggin' my phone, uh huh
    I get why you're tapped
    But you gotta get your fire back
    Catch fire, get upset and fire back
    Is what I tell myself
    When times get bad
    'Cause sometimes I might get sad
    Well I take the same advice I had
    And tell myself like I used to tell Hailie, when life's a drag
    Told her to do like her dad, don't cry, get mad
    'Cause little baby powders belong in diaper bags
    I'm hyper, by the time you see this side of me
    I'm right in your ass
    'Fore the pen, I stood up for the kid
    Who had to put up with the bullies at his school (at his school)
    You ain't have to have no money
    Or go shoppin' just to cop a fuckin' attitude
    Now my dough's amountin' to a mountain,
    It's rised too high to count it
    Never asked to be rich, all I did was
    Wish I had a dime for every time that I was doubted
    But then I think about it and I'm enraged
    'Cause I just figured out that if I was paid
    For the time I spent to put the pen to the page
    It'd be minimum wage
    But it's embedded in my head
    And if I hunted for the bread and butter
    What I wanted was to be the one that they was scared of
    But I'm never gonna get the credit for the sweat
    And blood I put up in the pen
    And when I'm dead I wonder will they put me on a pedestal
    Or forget I was ever this incredible
    I guess I better go harder than ever 'cause I'll never get
    Another mothafuckin' opportunity again
    To offend as many people with this I can, simply because I can