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I was surprised,

I was happy for a day in 1975
I was puzzled by a dream,
stayed with me all day in 1995
My brother had confessed that he was gay
It took the heat off me for a while
He stood up with a sailor friend
Made it known upon my sisters wedding day
I got married in a rush to save a kid from being deported
Now she's in love
Woo...I was so touched, I was moved to kick the crutches
From my crippled friend
She was not impressed
'cause I cured her on the Sabbath
So I went to confess
When she saw the funny side,
we introduced my child bride
To whisky and gin
The priest in the booth
had a photographic memory
For all he had heard
He took all of my sins
and he wrote a pocket novel called
The State I Am In
So I gave myself to God
There was a pregnant pause before he said ok
Now I spend my day
turning tables round In Marks &Spencer's
They don't seem to mind
I gave myself to sin I gave
myself to Providence And I've
been there and back again
The state that I am in
Oh love of mine,
would you condescend to help me
Cause I'm stupid and blind
Desperation is the Devil's work,
it is the folly of a boys empty mind
Now I'm feeling dangerous,
riding on city buses for a hobby is sad
I promised that I'd entertain my crippled friend
My crippled friend
I don't let you lead me to a living end ,and
I gave myself to sin and I've
oh yeah...