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Why is everybody always pickin' on me?
The morn' that I was born
my old man beat up the doctor.
He clocked the doctor
cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca
The doctor said sir you're misled sir
which infers you mistook me
I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a Wookiee
What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son
He looks like Chewy Baba Booey Babba Booey
and a Hong Kong Phooey all in one
To put it mild your newborn child's nutty fu-fu lookin'
I'd shove him back in the oven until he is done cookin'
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
Cause my 15-year old cousin has less acne
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
Cause you've got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
Cause you're white but got a nose like Bill Cosby
Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali
I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you
Yea, and you're ugly too So back me up Bill
So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese?
Or wear a fish net shirt by Charms with my Sergio Valenti jeans?
And my mirror never lies but it always verifies
I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie.
You compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand
Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man
And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first
But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse
About as popular with the girls as Englebert Humperdinck
And that might be cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink
I know I'm known as Polaroid
I'm not a total retard
It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged
Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
Couse you run like a girl and you sit down to pee
Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
You took your mom to the prom but got lucky
Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased
And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSD
Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger with coconuts
As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside of their grass hut
Oh he'll kill again that Gilligan
they should have let him be
And like a postal clerk I'll go beserk if you don't stop teasing me
See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm
Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
Cause no one likes you monkey boy.